MARK BOOK
By Ben Schneider

A wonderful human being, an outstanding thinker, a true friend, and a great kisser. That’s how I’d describe John Shiner. This however is about Mark Book, so forget everything I just said and pay attention. It could change your life.

Mark Wesley Book — Digby’s business savvy and competent drummer — was Born drunk and pissed off in Louisville, Ky, on July 29, 1973. Hoping to remain unborn for at least another half hour, it set up a lifetime of not wanting to get up when the alarm clock rang. Even back then at the tender age of 0, Mark Book lived life on his own terms.

Mark Book’s earliest memory is riding on an ambulance after downing a bottle of cough syrup. Dangerous? Yes. Life-threatening? Undoubtedly. But the ambulance ride was, in his own words, “really cool.” He learned to take risks on that day.

He had a happy childhood — wrestling with his brother Chad, throwing a football back and forth, and painting their dog blue. He and Chad got into music at an early age thanks to their father, whose long years on the road both as a working musician and truck-driver gave them an insight into how music should be played that no child could ever learn from a Mel Bay handbook or fourth-grade flute/recorder class.

One early lesson was that the path of a musician is a hard road full of disappointments. At age five young Mark Book received his first drum kit, a present from Santa Claus on Christmas morning. But it came at a terrible price. While the loud bangs it made were exciting, Mark also discovered that the bass drum could double as a “cool fort” for G.I. Joe. And since every fort needs a secret entrance for covert operations, Mark cut a hole in it.

His father was furious.
“Damn it boy! I paid $75 for that!”
Mark was shocked: “But you said it came from Santa!!”

It was a harsh revelation — there was no Santa. Devastated, Mark Book turned his back on Santa Claus, and looked instead to Jimi Hendrix. On that day, Mark Book became a man. Now focusing on guitar, his talent grew by leaps and bounds from the early days practicing on his dad’s Hummingbird Gibson acoustic to later years when he bought his own Fender Stratocaster. He was influenced by everyone from the Beatles and Zeppelin to Tuck Andres and Chet Atkins. As a teenager he attended Providence High School in Clarksville Indiana and played lead guitar in a band called Green Plants with some classmates. They were described as a “powerful local band” that didn’t play a lot of shows, but were in demand nevertheless.
 
But it was in 10th grade where he had his next life-changing experience — attending a concert featuring Stevie Ray Vaughan and Jeff Beck. The drummer that night was Terry Bozzio, and his syncopated style of playing “bad” in a “good” way opened Mark Book’s eyes. He was soon back to experimenting with drums.
By this time Mark Book was playing his first true drum kit, the Crestlines, which were a present from his uncle Johnny. They were sturdy, white and unique, the only drums of its kind ever seen.

After high school Mark Book went to Vincennes University, studied jazz guitar and played in a blues ensemble under Dave Parman, formerly of John Cougar’s band. At college he spent many long nights playing guitar late into the morning hours when he should have been out chasing girls. He finished up college in New Albany at Indiana University Southeast, and in 1994 he ran into two former high school classmates, Paul Moeller and Ben Schneider. They were playing music in a group with three guitarists, so they didn’t want another one of THOSE. What they needed was a drummer.

To make a long story short, they liked him. And Mark Book liked them back. Then all sorts of things happened.

So now it’s the present day, and Mark Book is still happily banging on Digby drums. But where will Digby go from here? Only Santa Claus knows. And that’s the way Mark Book likes it.

Other little tidbits about Mark Book that may interest you:
• Mark Book once ran for public office in 1990. Steve Martin endorsed his campaign.
• Mark Book had another possible career path — major league baseball. In college he was scouted by a team, however our lawyers will not let us reveal their identity. Let’s just say it rhymes with “The Finnesota Kwins.”
• Mark Book is married to the lovely Merideth Book, and they have two kids, Oscar and Ava Book.
• Mark Book’s favorite drink is Mr. Pibb — NOT the new Pibb extreme crap. He’s been known to drive out of his way just to find a convenience store with the “good stuff” on tap.
• Mark Book currently plays an ancient Rogers drum kit which in all honesty is owned by Digby guitarist Rich Oeffinger. Rich dies a little more each time Mark kicks over the bass drum during triumphant endings to songs.

So that’s about it really. What else can one say about the man, the legend that is Mark Book?
Well, there is the “incident” ...
Mark Book successfully fought off an alien invasion on February 1, 2004.
It’s true — he fought off the whole mutant armada with just a baseball bat and a glock.
He learned of the impending invasion from a wily neighbor — a veteran of the World War II European theater of war, who is said to have a “knack” for knowing about these sorts of things.

You didn’t hear about it?

We’re not surprised.

As you no doubt have noticed, the date of the failed invasion was the same night as Superbowl 38, the night of the infamous boob-flash from singer Janet Jackson at the halftime show. Yes, while the Panthers and the Patriots fought it out in Houston, Mark Book was facing laser death in Indiana.

The next day the national media was flooded with stories, eyewitness accounts, wild theories, charts and graphs — not of the aliens and their death machines, but of Ms. Jackson’s nipple.

Mark Book’s heroic and valiant act to save us all from doom was pushed to the back burner by both newspapers and TV news, and was consequentially never reported.
Which just goes to prove that when it comes to our national consciousness, a boob always take precedent over a Book.

-- Ben Schneider